The 25 Minute Assessment.

A few weeks ago, my family and another family had dinner together. The other family has a son who is the same age as me. Towards the end of the dinner, when he admitted that he had a girlfriend, my mom said (I guess to "flatter" him) that it sucks for me he's taken. Ha ha-- we all laugh, but I was more embarrassed because although I knew it was a joke, in my head I was saying ARE YOU CRAZY??? This guy is NOT FOR ME.

Let me explain. I'm sure guys can make quick mental assessments if a girl is or is not his type, just as girls can quickly assess guys. I don't mean to say that guys are being shallow and girls are being judgmental, but everyone can get a glimpse of what a person is like, and just from that first perception-- even if it may be wrong-- you have some sort of reaction.

I got an initial glimpse of what kind of person he MAY be through his hair and what he was wearing. Tall enough, longish Korean drama hair (but definitely not styled), typical fitting jeans, and-- (it's been a few weeks so I don't remember exactly but..) I think he was wearing a white and lime green vertically striped button-up shirt, similar to ones sold at Hollister or American Eagle. I don't remember his shoes. I think they were white. Not the most good looking chap I have seen-- but most girls don't care about that if he can make up for it otherwise.

For example, it seems that he carried no bad qualities. He was very polite, a little shy (but who isn't at a first meeting?), laughed at all my stupid jokes, never interrupted me when I spoke, listened carefully, always had an input, and was a good conversationalist.

He didn't introduce himself first, but I failed at that too, so I forgave him. On the other hand, I was the one who talked to him first. Yup, I was proud of that, but a little disappointed in him. I wouldn't call myself a feminist, especially because of moments like these-- but I tend to be traditional, so I like it when guys take initiative, are assertive, take the lead, are dominant (but not domineering), etc. BUT this isn't a date...why should he have to talk first?
-DUH. Because if he wants to be the cool guy that all the girls like (DESPITE that he has a girlfriend), he can't be shy and wait for me to say something first! And I'm not even close to being a good conversationalist!!

He is a genuinely nice guy. My family and I went over to his house and he stayed with us (my siblings) in the living room and fought all the awkward silences for an hour (there weren't TOO many). I give him props for that. Since he was my age, I took up the duty to ask him about school, etc.
Overall, on a scale of 1-10, he would be a 7.

Assessments (time)-
Physical appearance: 4 seconds
Introductions: 2 seconds
Content of conversation: 10 minutes
Behavior: 20 minutes
Self-confidence: 20 minutes max
Overall scale rating*: approx. 25 minutes and 6 seconds

*note that self-confidence, conversation, and behavior may be assessed simultaneously.

If I'm like most girls (which I'm probably not), ALL THAT is what we notice at a first meeting in a matter of 25 minutes.

Am I scaring off a bunch of male readers? Probably. But I promise I knew I was going to blog about that night so I took extra notice. I'm sure guys' assessment lasts 1.5 seconds, right or wrong?

The question is, why isn't a 7 enough for me? He would be a great friend.
That's when I realized it's just a matter of preference. Nothing about him was particularly unattractive, he just isn't my type.

And that 25 minute assessment is what made me wonder if I'm ever going to get married.